For most of us, there is plenty of room for [tag-tec]self improvement[/tag-tec]. Hardly any person we meet in our day-to-day lives is satisfied with what he or she is. Many of us do not even know what is wrong, but there is always a vague sense of ill ease, discomfort, and dissatisfaction.

Most people leave it at that and continue to live a hollow life that has all the trappings of happiness. They do not have the time or the interest to plumb the depths of their minds. Often, we are so busy with the painful complications of survival that we do not have energy left for anything else. We don’t even think about what we want. For any change to take place, the desire to achieve it should be high. Often, it is only this desire that keeps us stubbornly on course.

Once you have identified what it is that you wish to achieve, there are still many obstacles on the way. The mind is a very powerful manipulator. The process of bringing about a change involves a number of steps. The first step is to conquer the mind. This initial stage can therefore be called “avoidance”. It is the stage when the problem becomes crystal clear, but the [tag-ice]mind[/tag-ice] refuses to deal with it. We effectively shut out the rational mind from pondering the problem. When we do not think about a problem, the need to look for a solution also disappears. In short, there is no serious INTENTION to change. We often come up with many excuses for this, including lack of time, lack of resources, monetary problems, and so on.

The next stage is called “contemplation”. You have become aware of the problem. You are convinced that things need to change. But, you have not decided exactly how to go about it. The destination is somewhat clear, but the route is not. And the mind is plagued by various questions. Topmost is whether the entire process is worth the effort. This is the time when you weigh the pros and cons of changing and self improvement. Many people stagnate in this stage for far too long. This is when most overweight people decide that they just cannot go through with it. This is also the stage when one loses self-esteem.

Self-esteem refers to a person’s own perception of his self-worth. When you know that something needs to be done and you are not able to take the necessary steps, you have become a slave to your own fears and your lack of will power. Your self-esteem takes a huge beating. Your apathy mocks you incessantly. People with low self-esteem have already taken many beatings at an emotional level. This is just one more failure that hardens their low self-esteem.

In order to actualize the change you have envisioned, it is necessary to move on to the next stage. This stage is called “commitment”. There are two substages involved here. The first is “planning”, and the second is “action”.

The “planning” stage makes a lot of difference to the entire process of self improvement. It is here that you will actually chart out the path you have to take to reach your goals. Proper planning through intelligent observation and analysis can make the whole thing very easy. For instance, a person who wants to lose weight may decide to join an aerobics class, or a yoga class, or just join a diet program. The effectiveness of your planning decides how soon and how easily you will achieve you goal.

The last stage is the “action” stage. This is when the plans you have made are actually put to test. You reap the results and this keeps you motivated. If the methods you follow are not good enough, this stage becomes so hard that it is almost a punishment. Imagine standing on your bathroom scale with an empty, growling stomach and painful muscles but STILL finding the same weight in the reading. When the results are not up to your expectations, the motivation dies off slowly and you may go back to the “contemplation” or, worse, the “avoidance” stage.

These are the common pitfalls that most people face when they try to bring about a change in long-established behavioral patterns. Understanding these steps will greatly help to identify where you are getting stuck. I also want to point out how important planning and techniques are when you want to achieve certain goals that seem particularly difficult.